Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall...

Having lived in Russia since August, there is one thing I've learned that's more important than anything else: Thoreau was right. Up until I moved to Russia, I'd never been on my own, or more importantly...alone. I've had "alone time", but I have never truly been alone. In my twenty-three years of life, prior to Russia, I'd always been surrounded by friends and family; People that care about and love me. It's impossible to be alone growing up in a family of six, especially in a "small" house, and I'm eternally grateful for that. Even when I went away to college, I was surrounded by friends that I had made during 'June Welcome', and that eased the transition. While I was in Machias, my entire time there I was surrounded by close friends, that would do almost anything for me, and none of whom were more than a text away.

Fast forward to the present, I'm alone. I have some great friends here, but every night I come back to my flat...Alone. In my day to day life, I shop by myself, walk around by myself, cook by myself....And "worst" of all, I go out to eat by myself. To cope, I've developed a new habit; I have full conversations with myself. I spend most of my time walking around in a bubble. I couldn't understand what people around me are saying, even if I was listening. It's the strangest thing, to be able to spend most of the day lost in your own thoughts. I've become my own best friend. Once, I started looking at being alone as a chance to get to know myself, and become my own friend...I got dangerously close to developing a psychosis, kidding of course. Psychologically I'm probably much healthier than I was before. Thoreau moved into the woods and built a cabin so he could find himself, I moved to Russia.

This blog post isn't a pity party, I'm alone, but I'm not lonely. There is a huge difference. I can look at myself in the mirror and be happy with what I see. I'm nowhere near perfect, and I'm okay with it. No one is perfect. I can accept myself as the imperfect human that I am, and even with my imperfections...I'm a kick ass person to be around, living alone has taught me what loads of people already knew. If you can't be friends with yourself, why should anyone else? That's where loneliness comes in, if you're happy with who you are, and can be your own friend...You'll never be lonely. It's when you let society decide for you that eating alone is wrong and embarrassing, or that you shouldn't go shopping by yourself because only losers do that...That is when loneliness rears its ugly head. If you can depend on yourself, what society thinks or says is just a load of cock and bull.  Being alone and on my own 5,000 miles from everything I knew is the equivalent of saying "Alright, I never really watched MacGyver but he seemed pretty cool. I'll be like him, and put myself in a situation where I need to survive, but instead of 2 paper clips a rubber band, and a can of compressed air I only get myself."

So, try and get to know yourself today, maybe go speed-dating with yourself, or take yourself on a date, but whatever you do...Don't invite yourself in for drinks! Do you really want to think that you're of dubious morals????

Also, just so you don't pity me the way you pity a Cubs fan.....I'm going over to some friends for dinner

Kirovski: Home of the $3 Pineapple

Over the last few weeks, a few topics keep coming up in my classes. The standard of living in the US versus Russia, homosexuality, and inherent Russian and American cultural differences. These are all fairly serious things, and are really eye opening when you're comparing the two countries. First and foremost though, time for supermarkets.

Kirovski is my neighborhood supermarket, and I hate it with a passion. It's small, not that clean, the produce  is questionable, but nine times out of ten it's cheaper than shopping at Kupyetz the massive supermarket near work, or Stockmann's the import grocery store. They are usually 20-40% more expensive. And of course Monyetka, which is the equivalent of shopping in a favela.

Just an average day at Monyetka

There also happens to be two Monyetkas near my house each about a block away....One of them got in trouble for giving(selling??) rotten food to homeless people, the homeless people went on to sell said food,  I'm assuming for what could only have been heroin and bath salts. After all, I'm not sure who but heroin addicts and well anyone stupid enough to do bath salts would eat food from those Monyetkas. It's a rough life, bath salts and food from Monyetka.

More importantly, I went grocery shopping tonight. Now over this last week or two, I've been eying picking up some exotic fruit. Pears, apples, bananas, and mandarins just aren't cutting anymore. Last night I almost even bought a Pomelo, and I have absolutely no idea what that is. I refrained though, mostly because it looked like a grapefruit, and well grapefruits are edible only to people who aren't me.  

 

 Silicone breast implants for 75p/kg?

Well anyway, I went shopping on my way home tonight, I need some staples: cheese, juice, chicken, vodka.... Walking into the store, you need to go past the "produce" display. A 6 foot long shelf with baskets of mostly bruised/borderline rotted fruit and vegetables. Tonight though, the fruit gods must have come to Ekb. The bananas looked edible, the apples weren't bruised and gouged, and they had pineapples. Seeing pineapples isn't a new thing, I can buy close to any food I want here....Minus a few things like buffalo sauce and pepperoni, Stockmann's even has Betty Crocker cookie mix. Pineapples usually go for close to $8/kg in Stockmanns and Kupyetz. Starfruit goes for close to $30, and Cantaloupe is $10/kg. Pineapple at Kirovski? A cool 75p/kg or $2.50/kg, a measly $1.25/lb. I'm not sure how a pineapple can get from Costa Rica and only cost me $3, but in Russia it's best never to question.