Having lived in Russia since August, there is one thing I've learned that's more important than anything else: Thoreau was right. Up until I moved to Russia, I'd never been on my own, or more importantly...alone. I've had "alone time", but I have never truly been alone. In my twenty-three years of life, prior to Russia, I'd always been surrounded by friends and family; People that care about and love me. It's impossible to be alone growing up in a family of six, especially in a "small" house, and I'm eternally grateful for that. Even when I went away to college, I was surrounded by friends that I had made during 'June Welcome', and that eased the transition. While I was in Machias, my entire time there I was surrounded by close friends, that would do almost anything for me, and none of whom were more than a text away.
Fast forward to the present, I'm alone. I have some great friends here, but every night I come back to my flat...Alone. In my day to day life, I shop by myself, walk around by myself, cook by myself....And "worst" of all, I go out to eat by myself. To cope, I've developed a new habit; I have full conversations with myself. I spend most of my time walking around in a bubble. I couldn't understand what people around me are saying, even if I was listening. It's the strangest thing, to be able to spend most of the day lost in your own thoughts. I've become my own best friend. Once, I started looking at being alone as a chance to get to know myself, and become my own friend...I got dangerously close to developing a psychosis, kidding of course. Psychologically I'm probably much healthier than I was before. Thoreau moved into the woods and built a cabin so he could find himself, I moved to Russia.
This blog post isn't a pity party, I'm alone, but I'm not lonely. There is a huge difference. I can look at myself in the mirror and be happy with what I see. I'm nowhere near perfect, and I'm okay with it. No one is perfect. I can accept myself as the imperfect human that I am, and even with my imperfections...I'm a kick ass person to be around, living alone has taught me what loads of people already knew. If you can't be friends with yourself, why should anyone else? That's where loneliness comes in, if you're happy with who you are, and can be your own friend...You'll never be lonely. It's when you let society decide for you that eating alone is wrong and embarrassing, or that you shouldn't go shopping by yourself because only losers do that...That is when loneliness rears its ugly head. If you can depend on yourself, what society thinks or says is just a load of cock and bull. Being alone and on my own 5,000 miles from everything I knew is the equivalent of saying "Alright, I never really watched MacGyver but he seemed pretty cool. I'll be like him, and put myself in a situation where I need to survive, but instead of 2 paper clips a rubber band, and a can of compressed air I only get myself."
So, try and get to know yourself today, maybe go speed-dating with yourself, or take yourself on a date, but whatever you do...Don't invite yourself in for drinks! Do you really want to think that you're of dubious morals????
Also, just so you don't pity me the way you pity a Cubs fan.....I'm going over to some friends for dinner
Fast forward to the present, I'm alone. I have some great friends here, but every night I come back to my flat...Alone. In my day to day life, I shop by myself, walk around by myself, cook by myself....And "worst" of all, I go out to eat by myself. To cope, I've developed a new habit; I have full conversations with myself. I spend most of my time walking around in a bubble. I couldn't understand what people around me are saying, even if I was listening. It's the strangest thing, to be able to spend most of the day lost in your own thoughts. I've become my own best friend. Once, I started looking at being alone as a chance to get to know myself, and become my own friend...I got dangerously close to developing a psychosis, kidding of course. Psychologically I'm probably much healthier than I was before. Thoreau moved into the woods and built a cabin so he could find himself, I moved to Russia.
This blog post isn't a pity party, I'm alone, but I'm not lonely. There is a huge difference. I can look at myself in the mirror and be happy with what I see. I'm nowhere near perfect, and I'm okay with it. No one is perfect. I can accept myself as the imperfect human that I am, and even with my imperfections...I'm a kick ass person to be around, living alone has taught me what loads of people already knew. If you can't be friends with yourself, why should anyone else? That's where loneliness comes in, if you're happy with who you are, and can be your own friend...You'll never be lonely. It's when you let society decide for you that eating alone is wrong and embarrassing, or that you shouldn't go shopping by yourself because only losers do that...That is when loneliness rears its ugly head. If you can depend on yourself, what society thinks or says is just a load of cock and bull. Being alone and on my own 5,000 miles from everything I knew is the equivalent of saying "Alright, I never really watched MacGyver but he seemed pretty cool. I'll be like him, and put myself in a situation where I need to survive, but instead of 2 paper clips a rubber band, and a can of compressed air I only get myself."
So, try and get to know yourself today, maybe go speed-dating with yourself, or take yourself on a date, but whatever you do...Don't invite yourself in for drinks! Do you really want to think that you're of dubious morals????
Also, just so you don't pity me the way you pity a Cubs fan.....I'm going over to some friends for dinner
